50 ways to kill a bill

Kill BillPaul Simon had 50 Ways to Leave your Lover.

Train has 50 Ways to Say Goodbye.

And the Utah legislature has 50 Ways to Kill a Bill.

 

 

You can make a new plan, Stan. So,

*Slap a huge fiscal note on the bill.
*Hold it in rules.
*Table it.
*Circle it.
*Offend someone in leadership.
*Call in expert witness John Swallow.
*Send it back to rules
*Send it to interim study
*”This bill is about legitimate rape….”
*Forget to put it on a committee agenda
*Pull it from a committee agenda
*Have a guy testify for your bill with his assault rifle strapped across his chest.
*Move to the next agenda item
*Adjourn before the vote
*”I ran this by Obama’s people
*”The Feds love this

Step out the back, Jack and

*Launch a grassroots attack
*Fire up the media and let them kill it
*Send it to the Senate to die
Mayor McAdams is a strong supporter”
*Let it die mysteriously on its journey between the two bodies
*Strike the enacting clause
*”It is only a small tax increase
*Give it to a legislator who snatches defeat from the jaws of victory
*Get the “home teachers” to talk to legislators about it (lobbyists from the LDS church)
*”I’m not a big supporter but…”
*”It worked in California
*”This bill recognizes the important powers held by the federal government in states’ behalf.”

You could tell people the bill drowned in a mudslide, got eaten by a lion or

*Wipe the board and never return the bill to the 3rd reading calendar
*Get the bill caught in the cross-fire of horse trading
*Get a powerful lobby to oppose it and blindside supporters
*”No, why why would I talk to Lockhart about this bill?”
*Get a Democrat, any Democrat to stand and say “This is a solid bill.”
*Vote it down in committee
*Have the Governor veto
*Try threatening legislators with hellfire and brimstone that will rain down if they pass that bill. They like living dangerously.
*Put the bill on the very bottom of the 3rd reading calendar the last day of the session
*Write the bill up V.E.R.Y S.L.O.W.L.Y. If it never gets numbered, it’s not passing.

You could try saying the bill “went down in an airplane, Fried getting suntanned, Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand” or….

*Write a bill to benefit a narrow constituency and offend a loud interest group.
*You can’t get Jim Dabakis to crack a single joke about it.
*Choose an issue that makes it more difficult for the press to do their job.
*Restrict access to public records.
*Forget to file a bill file.
*Don’t ask Curt Bramble to co-sponsor.
*Try to sub a bill and have no one willing to make the motion.
*Amend the heck out of a bill, make it unrecognizable and let the sponsor kill it.
*Run a bill to get rid of the Zion curtain.
*Run a bill that cuts funding for education.
*”This bill gives Utah it’s fair share of federal spending.”

This list was a group effort, so thanks to the many observers of Utah politics who had suggestions!

Please note – some of these are serious. Some are tongue-in-cheeck. Please feel free to add to this list!!

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Comments

  1. I find no humor in this due to the fact that the Republican controlled Legislature has prevented much needed and important legislation from even coming to the floor for a discussion, let alone an up or down vote. Instead of funny, I find these tactics to be underhanded and disgusting.