What the heck happened in the Speaker’s race??

Ron SwansonIn case you missed the DC melt-down of the last few days, or you’re still shaking your head, you’re not alone.

Like Ron Swanson, we’re all wondering what the heck just happened.

So really – in case you missed it, on Thursday, Congressman McCarthy goes into a meeting as the easy shoe-in for the next Speaker of the House and comes out angry and no longer a candidate. Boehner is angry and now talking about staying on as Speaker for a while longer. (And by the way – he’s still orange. Somebody get that man an esthetician.) And of course, don’t forget that “the Donald” had to step in and take the credit. (Side note: He’s a fascinating narcissist to watch. Kinda like a slow-motion train wreck….)

With McCarthy gone, Chaffetz might have had a smoother path to become the next Speaker, except it seems the powers-that-be “>aren’t exactly smoothing the way. Issa slammed him for being too nice to the other side and if I understand his remarks, thinks Chaffetz doesn’t fight hard enough for the conservative side. Still scratching my head at that one. Boehner, McCarthy et al aren’t that happy with him, or they would have just let the vote happen the other day. That and the fact that House members are actively recruiting other people are kinda give-aways that he remains a long shot.

Mitt Romney thinks Paul Ryan should give up on being President one day and run for Speaker himself. (Actually, I don’t know if he actually said that first part, but that’s what it would mean.) Conservatives don’t think a lot about that idea, though, and instead want non-conservative, Daniel Webster. Go figure. A whole bunch of people think Trey Gowdy should run, but he just doesn’t wanna. After all – the only “perk” that job has is the ability to get a 7-figure lobbying job when it’s over. Power? Pshaw. Ask Boehner how much “power” he had to move an agenda forward.¬†Unless you’re dying to become the most hated man or woman in America, you shouldn’t run – and most representatives can see that. (OK. Second most-hated man or woman in America.)

Rep Pete King thinks we need a Speaker who can “bang heads and break legs.” Nice. Someone must have forgotten to tell him that’s the Majority Leader’s job. Or the Whip. The Speaker gets to create consensus and herd cats. Yay!

In the meantime, speculation on the collapse of McCarthy’s support quickly goes to the tabloid because, you know, nature abhors a vacuum. If you don’t know the real reason, just make up crap. Renee Ellmers, target of some of the tawdry speculation had to issue a denial saying no, she is not having an affair with McCarthy but she will pray for those who bear false witness. Why is it that people always want to accuse WOMEN of having affairs (oh yeah – and the Majority Leader. I guess it takes two to tango.) But seriously. Practically every female candidate/elected official I know has had that accusation thrown at her. Be real and get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not like its female public figures showing up on Ashley Madison and in the “DC Madam’s” address book……

So, at the end of 48 hours, here’s what we know about the race for Speaker of the US House:

A big fat nothing EXCEPT: Politics is good theater.

Pass the popcorn.

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